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Monday, September 05, 2011

What's Next?

I've had several friends email me with the "what's next" question, and the answer is that I don't really know yet. As of Thursday, I finished my scheduled 6 treatments of chemotherapy. Because of the holiday weekend, I don't know what my new CA125 level is and I don't have a schedule yet for my CT scan. By this time tomorrow, I should know a little better. Dr. W will compare my CA125 level and my CT scan results (probably the week of Sept. 15) and decide whether or not I'm cancer free or whether I need additional treatment. When I was diagnosed, the statistics said that I had an 80% chance of being cancer-free after 6 treatments. Those are good odds.

To be honest, I feel a little bit in limbo. Even as I'm still dealing with the effects of Round #6, I want to rejoice in making it through these last 5 months. I find myself hesitant, however, to let myself enjoy the feeling of being "done" because I don't know for sure if I am done.

Here are a few things I do know from the last few days. I do know that it felt good to walk out of Baptist Medical Plaza Thursday afternoon and enjoy lunch and ice cream with my family. It felt good to hug Sara goodbye and know I wasn't coming back in 3 weeks for another round of chemo. It felt good to get in a couple of hours of shopping with my mom Saturday before I felt too sick. I do know that when I felt really, really awful Saturday night and posted on Facebook asking for prayer, within 20 minutes my body ached less. I do know that I enjoyed watching Camden and Rory laugh uproariously over a new "Achoo" doll Rory received for her birthday tonight. I was happy to have Brian home for a 3 day weekend. I enjoyed having all our local family for supper tonight. I enjoyed booking a photo shoot this weekend. And I enjoyed drooling over the possibility of a new lens.

How about if I just say this. You, my friends, will know "what's next" just as soon as I do. :)

And how about just a couple of pictures from the weekend.

Snuggling on the couch with Camden. Fortunately, we both still fit for a little while longer. 090511_2 

Friday after my Neulasta shot. Can I just say how D.O.N.E. I am with the bald and looking sick? I think I've been fairly low-key about this (okay, maybe it doesn't seem low key with all the blog complaining), but I am done. 090511_3 

Brian snapped this one of Grandpa, Grandma, Camden, and Rory Friday night. 090511_1

9 comments:

Leah said...

I GREAT BIG HUG FOR YOU MELISSA! Prayers too! ;)

Krista said...

Has it really been 5 months? Wow. Prayers and positivity being sent your way!

Joy said...

You are so amazing!! Praying hard for a clear scan and good results!! : )

Christine said...

I've been thinking about you a lot this weekend... hoping you feel well enough to truly rejoice SOON! (And to lens shop, of course!)

Amy said...

Already praying for whatever's next!

Elizabeth Frick said...

Here's hoping that there's wonderful news for you tomorrow! I can't even imagine the limbo you feel right now. It will be so nice to put it behind you, right? :)
Sending you my love and I cannot wait to see you get better and better with each passing day!

KrisJ said...

LOVE HUGS AND PRAYERS for you girl!! I am praying hard for a good report from your doc!!!!

thewonderfulhappens said...

I hope that what's next is a huge celebration of cancer freedom!!

Joanna B said...

Praying that you get celebratory news! Thank you for sharing your journey thus far. Your honesty and transparency are inspiring, and you are amazing!