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Monday, September 26, 2011

Thousand Gifts 570-600

Settle in. This is a long one. :)

I'll be honest. After the way our weekend began on Friday afternoon, I was doubting I'd ever feel good again, but we actually had a nice weekend. Not that there weren't hard moments, but I can think of lots of good moments as well. I am continuing to struggle with the "why" of it all, but surprisingly enough there were even moments where cancer did not cross my mind.

We sat the kids down Friday afternoon and told them the news about my scan; they reacted just like kids - like it was no big deal. I think the first words out of Camden's mouth were, "I feel like I'm still wearing my blue teeth." (a prize he'd gotten from school that day and had worn ever since) Clearly, he was devastated. And Rory informed us later that night that the worst thing that happened to her for the day was that she was hot while roasting her hot dog at Brian's dad's 60th birthday party. I thank you for your prayers because I am sure they contributed to the kid's less-than-compassionate calm reaction.

Saturday Rory had a soccer game, and she spent at least half of the game sitting on the bench chatting it up with the assistant coach. Oh, yes, she completely asked to sit down over and over simply because she wanted to chat about stickers. And, yes, her mama and daddy had a little chat with her about chatting at inappropriate times.

After the game, we headed south of Nashville to the area's largest shopping area for an afternoon of shopping and lunch at Chuy's. This was one of the few things left on our Summer List, and it wasn't really on the weekend schedule, but we decided to go for it since we don't know how I'll feel later on. Saturday evening we even managed to tackle both kid's closets and cleaned out the summer stuff and brought in the fall/winter clothing. Pretty sure Brian had no idea that was going to turn into a 2 hour ordeal when we started, but what can I say. I overshop and like to dress them well.

Brian and Rory at Chuy's. Clearly I did not bring out the big girl camera for this trip.
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Me and my big boy.
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I think Rory enjoyed the music more than the food.

Sunday was Rural Heritage Day at our church, and there were lots of animals and fun activities, but I took a total of 3 pictures. By the afternoon I was really tired, and honestly, it was emotionally draining to explain over and over again about my scan results.

(side note: General rule of thumb #1: you should not tell someone with cancer about all the people you know who have died from cancer. Believe me. I am well aware that cancer is serious. General rule of thumb #2: the sad, pitying looks from across the room that insinuate I have one foot in the grave do not make me feel better about myself.) 

Taking a ride on a mule-pulled wagon. The very happy couple in the back seat are Uncle Michael and Aunt Liz.
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Brian insisted on this picture.
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Okay, I lied. I actually took 6 pictures. Here are Camden and Rory with their pumpkins after they came home.

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On today's agenda is about 3 weeks worth of activities. Okay, not quite that much, but I do have a very long "to-do" list as I try to tie up loose ends, get the laundry under control, stock up on groceries, plan ahead, etc. now that I have chemo, bloodwork, shots, and doctor's appointments back in my schedule.

570. breakfast at Dunkin Donuts with the kiddos before school
571. the pearl-like water drops on the basil plant
572. and Camden who pointed them out
573. "God is in his holy temple. He is a father to those whose fathers have died. He takes care of women whose husbands have died. God gives lonely people a family." Psalm 68:5-6
574. Salted Caramel mochas from Starbucks
575. for the 12 (!) cards that arrived in my mailbox last week
576. for Rory's red face after soccer
577. for Korean food with our family
578. for my two Korean kiddos
579. when the kid devotion I read to the kids every morning speaks to me as well
580. smelling the tobacco smoking in the barns
581. the sight of the tobacco smoke curling from the top of the barns
582. the sounds of guns blazing, screams, and uncontrollable giggles from the living room as the kiddos 583. wage war against Brian
584. the smell of fall throughout the house in the form of homemade pumpkin pecan granola
585. aching muscles that come from exercise instead of chemo side effects
586. peach fuzz
587. blue crayons
588. new shoes that come with the reminder of God's faithfulness
589. short wait for scan results
590. celebrating a 60th birthday
591. so many encouraging messages that I can't keep up
592. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
593. Rory's head bobbing in time with the music
594. a Saturday spent doing family activities
595. new music and parenting books courtesy of a gift card
596. successful Rural Heritage Sunday
597. playing the piano again
598. "Praise be to the Lord, to God, our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. "Psalm 68:19
599. friends willing to help
600. Superman was adopted pictures

12 comments:

Brenda Shearon said...

never figured you thanking for tobacco barn smoke:)I guess us country folks are rubbing off on you:) Hope you have a good day today!

Vicky said...

You. Are. Awesome. And I just say that because you just painted a clear picture to me, that you are not cancer. You are life and you are living it well and showing all of us how to keep going. Live your moments! Thanks for the encouragement- I am just taking a quick break as I too do the pre-chemo routine of getting this house ready for mom to be gone for a couple of not so great days :) I'm praying for you!

thewonderfulhappens said...

Love those pointers, but shocked about what people have said to you. I probably shouldn't be, because people tell pregnant women horrible birth stories and waiting adoptive parents horrible adoption stories. Why are people so bizarre? You really are and continue to be an inspiration to me.

Joy said...

Love the photos of the kids with their pumpkins! Too cute! And the photo of you and Brian....uh, Christmas card! : )

I would say I can't believe people have said those things to you, but sometimes even well meaning people don't think before they speak. I had to laugh as you described "the look" perfectly! My brother was in a wheelchair for several years and got lots of the "sympathy" stares - he started making faces back at them! LOL Just a thought! : )

Thinking of you and praying for you!!

Linda Balthrop said...

I like Brenda was surprised at the smell of tobacco being fired. Really shouldn't have been though everyone I know that hasn't grown up in these parts say they love that smell.

subgirl said...

Melissa, I would LOVE to smell the tobacco curing in the barn. That is one of my favorite childhood memories. I never get to smell that anymore.
I am so sorry you are going to have to go through chemo again, but I know our Lord and Saviour will carry you through again and give you the strength and comfort you need. Please remember that MANY, MANY people that you have never even met are lifting you in prayer every. single. day! I put you on the prayer list in my Sunday School class yesterday. God is faithful and He knows your needs and struggles. If He is allowing this season in your life, He has a plan in place just for you. We know His plans for you are good, to prosper you and not to harm you. (Jer. 29:11) God bless you!

Kimberly said...

Sometimes I'm grateful for my kids' rather underwhelmed reactions to things, that they're so busy with a million things going on in their heads that they are calmer than I'd expect.

Praying for you and your family.

Amy said...

Thought of you so many times this weekend (everytime I looked at my toenails!) and prayed for you over and over. I'm so glad it was a good weekend despite Friday's news. Love that picture of you and Brian!!!

Kelly said...

First, I have to echo what Vicky said. You are strong, brave, and I adore how you are living life to it's fullest!!!!
Second, that photo of you and Brian that he insisted on? Totally had me laughing. Love it.

Annie B. said...

Another beautiful blog entry:) I have had quite the day and to come here and read this, wowza..this has been the best part of mine...well everything BUT the part about what silly people say without thinking! Please, get a filter people. You are quite the inspiration:) I will be thinking of you often tomorrow as usual:) You are going to kick cancers %$#@!!!

Christine said...

Funny... when I think of all you are going through, it's never pity or sadness (or death!) that come to mind. It's usually awe and inspiration. OK, I'm sad and angry that you have to go through this at all... but I'm shocked people would say things to you like that! (Or look at you like that!)

I'm glad you had good parts too... I'm jealous of the shopping. But I bet you knew that...

Elizabeth Frick said...

Sounds like a lovely weekend!
Has Brian lost weight? Because that boy looks SLIM in that photo! :)
And the photo of you and Camden is just adorable. I don't think the four of you could be much cuter :)
Sending you love & strength as you dive back into treatments.