Life as a Lewis

With the exception of the fatigue factor, yesterday was a pretty good day. Camden and Rory spent the day (and night and today) at Gram and Gramp's house so it was a quiet day to sleep, catch up on many emails and Facebook messages, and basically just spend the day camped out on the couch. I even found the energy to use the treadmill not once, but twice yesterday in between naps.  I woke up this morning, however, feeling like a truck had just flattened me. On top of that I made the mistake of taking pain medicine (as well as a host of other fun pills) and not waiting for it to settle on my stomach before trying to get a few things done around here, and let's just say that was a mistake. Despite the rough start to my Friday, I am looking forward to getting caught up on my photography class lessons today and then having a nice quiet evening with Brian and Rory. It will be just the 3 of us because Camden is going on his very first sleepover and is so excited.  And my d

Despite having spent the first 3 years of his life in our pediatrician's office with recurring ear infections, RSV, asthma, and pneumonia, Camden has not been sick since he was 3 and a half. Well, maybe a brief fever last year sometime and the always present allergy issues, but not sick. Which explains why when he complained of a headache yesterday afternoon right after I told him it was time to clean his room that I completely brushed him off. Imagine my surprise when I found him an hour later laying in bed and running a fever of 100.2. Bad mama! Anyway, he spent the the last couple hours of Wednesday in bed and watching Survivor with me. He woke up this morning fever free and is now happily playing at Gram and Gramps house. Or at least I guess that's all true. I slept until 7:30 and the house was quiet and empty when I finally dragged myself out of bed. And I do mean dragged because as soon as I took a step out of bed this morning, I completely crashed to the floor becau

I didn't pull the camera out too often yesterday, mostly because we were running a whole host of errands while still trying to keep it fun for Rory. (please ignore the bad and inconsistent white balance in these photos - they were taken in all sorts of light, none of which was ideal) Starting the morning off with Miss Jennifer getting a feather in her hair. She wasn't excited at all as you can tell. Jennifer had chosen a sweet petite pink feather, but Rory wanted nothing to do with it. She had her mind made up that it was going to be the electric blue/purple feather. Waiting for our lunch at McDougals. Yes, she chose the same place Brian and I ate at last week. She said they have the best dips and she wanted to eat outside. Funny. She only used ketchup yesterday. Daddy and the birthday girl. We were driving along when Brian slammed on the brakes and pulled over and said to take advantage of this cute door. Once again, not great lighting and I sna

Our meeting with Dr. W today was fine. Not encouraging, but fine. I don't know why I expected better news, but I think it's hard not to hope that the bad news you hear is somehow wrong; that they've somehow made a mistake. Basically, the cancer is still the same as prior to chemo. Possibly a little larger, but he said it was hard to tell. He was glad that it had not returned to my bowel or colon (because that was a large part of my initial surgery), and my chest and lungs are still clear (apparently, this is the next place the cancer would go). It does not change my stage of cancer (still 3c), and remission is still a possibility, but he said that it would be very tough to get there.  There are several more drugs that we can try, which is good, but unfortunately they each have a success rate of only 25%. It's a little too early to be considering clinical trials because hospitals who hold the trials like for the patients to have tried the more main-stream drugs firs

Today is Rory's 5th birthday. I realize that I say this every time. But SERIOUSLY! How did this happen? Where is this little munchkin? And a few tidbits about Rory recently: "Mama, I weally, weally want a CD that says wock and woll on it." And speaking of rock and roll, she LOVES to sing. Unfortunately, the child has got no musical talent whatsoever, but she sure loves to make a joyful noise. And there's no reason to actually spend time teaching her songs. She doesn't care. She just wants to make up her own music. I literally think she knows the words to approximately 2 songs. And that's only if you catch her on a good day. The other day I heard Rory literally screech/scream very unkindly at Camden, and I immediately called her in to see what was going on. Camden came up behind her and put his arms around her as if to protect her from my wrath. Turns out they were just playing, but I thought his protectiveness was very sweet. I don&#

Rory's turn :) This "I love you" sign is something she always does with her daddy. Are you sure you want me to jump? Yes, close your eyes and wait for the ball to hit you. No, no, no! No more!

Settle in. This is a long one. :) I'll be honest. After the way our weekend began on Friday afternoon, I was doubting I'd ever feel good again, but we actually had a nice weekend. Not that there weren't hard moments, but I can think of lots of good moments as well. I am continuing to struggle with the "why" of it all, but surprisingly enough there were even moments where cancer did not cross my mind. We sat the kids down Friday afternoon and told them the news about my scan; they reacted just like kids - like it was no big deal. I think the first words out of Camden's mouth were, "I feel like I'm still wearing my blue teeth." (a prize he'd gotten from school that day and had worn ever since) Clearly, he was devastated. And Rory informed us later that night that the worst thing that happened to her for the day was that she was hot while roasting her hot dog at Brian's dad's 60th birthday party. I thank you for your prayers bec

And here is Mr. Camden cooperating rather reluctantly in the photo shoot. :) This is always Camden's default when I pull out the camera. Holding up muscles was Brian's idea. I'm taking a photography class titled Snapshots of a Good Life taught by Karen Russell, and in the first week she talks alot about emotionally perfect photographs and how we (as mothers) are our family's best photographer because we know our family better than anyone else. That really resonated with me because I easily get caught up in how other photographer's blogs are filled with beautiful, perfect pictures. But no one else would know that Camden pushes his glasses up like this approximately 3,000 times a day. Or that he immediately follows the glasses adjustment with hiking his pants up. Every.single.time. Or that this is his very silly, but very real grin. Playing football with his daddy. Switching from a football to a frisbee.