Rough Morning

-
Well, it's only 7:06, but it's been quite a morning already. I realized about halfway through the day yesterday that I wasn't feeling well and thought I was probably catching what Camden and Brian had. I woke up this morning feeling awful and argued with myself the entire time I showered, got ready, etc. If I wouldn't have been home with Camden for the past two days, I definitely would have stayed home. To complicate matters even more Brian and Camden both are having snow days today because of the freezing rain. Yes, freezing rain. Our roads looked like a sheet of ice. So, I finally decided I better just suck it up and head off to work. I left about 6:30. After taking 10 minutes to drive about 2 miles and sliding all over the road, I turned around and came home, got into my sweats, put my hair in a pony tail, and I plan to stay on the couch all day long. I hate that I've missed 3 days of work, but they've sent work for me here at home, I check my email and voicemail regularly, and I've got plenty of sick days left, but only another month of so to use them up so I don't feel too bad. My boss is one of those very understanding and flexible kind of guys who has 2 small children at home himself so he was quite understanding when I called him this morning.

The good news is that Camden and Brian are feeling much better. Camden keeps saying, "I'm so sorry me and daddy made you sick." Camden told me that I better leave quick before my work called off school.

I remember reaching a certain point while we waited for Camden to come home where I just started to doubt it was ever really going to happen. The wait becomes so long and after a certain point, the ache just grows and grows and your child is never far from your thoughts. I am definitely at that point. I am struggling to stay positive and to not spend all my time in tears. At this point, nothing helps. Well, I take that back. If we could ever get the I600 in our hands, it would help momentarily.

I baked a chocolate chip pecan pie yesterday - my first ever. Camden kept saying, "mommy, this pie smells wonderfully." It was pretty good if I do say so myself. Definitely a comfort food.

I did scrap two pages yesterday, although even scrapping doesn't feel fun or therapeutic these days.


Comments

skylark knits said…
Feel better, Melissa!

Maybe you'll get some good mail today and that will help you feel better. :)
8:30 AM
Karen said…
(((HUGS))) Feel better!! Here's praying for a good mail day to make up for the germs in the house.
8:39 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Scoop

-
Our meeting with Dr. W today was fine. Not encouraging, but fine. I don't know why I expected better news, but I think it's hard not to hope that the bad news you hear is somehow wrong; that they've somehow made a mistake. Basically, the cancer is still the same as prior to chemo. Possibly a little larger, but he said it was hard to tell. He was glad that it had not returned to my bowel or colon (because that was a large part of my initial surgery), and my chest and lungs are still clear (apparently, this is the next place the cancer would go). It does not change my stage of cancer (still 3c), and remission is still a possibility, but he said that it would be very tough to get there.  There are several more drugs that we can try, which is good, but unfortunately they each have a success rate of only 25%. It's a little too early to be considering clinical trials because hospitals who hold the trials like for the patients to have tried the more main-stream drugs firs
Read more

Late Night Ramblings

-
Image
1. Thanks to Andrea for driving me to chemo today. I'm always a little anxious on the way in and the very few times I've had to drive myself, it's been a little lonely coming home. But not today. 2. A fellow chemo patient today thought I was in my 20's. Score.  ("score" would be a term I'm borrowing from Becky ) 3. I did not wear a scarf today to chemo, and all the nurses and doctors did a double take since they didn't recognize me. So wierd. I recognize me with hair, bald, and with a little puppy fluff. 4. Dr. W. is adding Avastin , a new drug which will help prevent cancer cells from growing, to my current Gemzar routine. Good news is that it won't make me feel any worse. Bad news is that in a small percentage of patients it causes severe side effects involving blood clots, kidney failure, ulcers, and holes in your bowel. Good times. 5. I've been instructed to head directly to my primary care doctor for blood pressure medic
Read more

Scenes from the Soccer Field

-
Image
So I may not have apologized yesterday about the number of pictures, but I am definitely going to today. Because  coughcough thirty coughcough just might be excessive. And probably my family will be the only ones who look at all of them. But I don't care. :) By the way, we completely lost and did not even score a goal yet again. Rory tried really, really hard. This team was head and shoulders bigger than we are, way more coordinated than 4 year olds should be and their coach kept their A team in the entire game. Even after scoring some 15 goals. Oh, well. Rory still enjoyed herself. Which way is the goal again? Notice her position in this picture. Notice how she passed the girl next to her? No, I am not competitive at all. Not sure where the other team is. Oh, wait. There they are. See how much bigger they are? You'll notice she almost always runs with her mouth open. Either that or her tongue hang
Read more