Hope

I am incredibly lucky to be a part of The Lilypad. It has been my favorite digital scrapping store since its very beginning, and it continues to be my favorite digital place to hang out. And not only is it my favorite hang out, but I have the great privilege of being a part of the Lilypad team. About a week ago I was surprised and humbled to find a note in my inbox from the designers. They have created a beautiful kit in my honor, and I am not sure I could think of anything more encouraging to me personally than this kit full of words of hope and faith. You can purchase it by clicking here if you're a scrapper looking for a gorgeous kit by my favorite designers. Or you can just look at the beautiful pages and say a prayer of thanks for God's goodness in my life.

Here is the page I scrapped with it.

And here is Becky's page. I dare you to read it without crying. I certainly can't. Journaling is as follows:

This wasn't supposed to happen.

You were supposed to be safe.

I will never forget those days after my diagnosis as we waited for your genetic test results and Elizabeth's to come back in.  I prayed so hard, begging God to spare you both, asking for you not to carry this burden.  It was negative--big sigh of relief and thanks to God.

You were supposed to be safe.

That night in March as the boys and I drove through the night, I asked God, I prayed, I begged, "please don't let it be, don't let it be."  During your surgery as the hours ticked by each of us getting increasingly nervous, still we prayed, still we asked, and we pleaded....don't let it be, please, God, don't let it be.

And yet, somehow, you weren't safe, and the one thing that I would never want to share with you, in an instant, we shared.  I think that only one who has carried the burden herself can really know the grief of hearing that a sister is diagnosed with cancer, of knowing just a portion of what she will face, the demons that are sure to settle into the back of her mind.

       It's different on this side of things and I don't like it.  If I could, I would take it from you ten times over and yet, now my heart knows what it would be like for you to watch and I don't   know that I could turn that hurt over to you either.

       Safety, like so many things, is all about perspective, and you ARE safe.  I confess to worrying that it may not be the 'safe' that I want, but I know that you are safe, you are held, you are choosing joy, you are shining as a bright light and I am proud of you, of the way you are fighting, and yet will always always mourn that we (as sisters) have shared more than sisters should ever have to share.

I promise to be back later with news from the week and maybe even a few pictures.