My phone rang last night about 6:30, just as we were sitting down to supper, and when I picked it up, I recognized the number as the cancer clinic. When it was Dr. C's voice greeting me, I moved to the bedroom and took a deep breath.
But she said she had good news, and I could hear the happy mixed with surprise in her voice. The scans showed some of those little spots are gone and many of the rest have significantly decreased in size. I said, "oh my stars" and she chuckled.
I came back to the kitchen to give Brian and the kids the good news, and while Brian hugged me, the kids yelled, "Woohoo, can we have some ice cream?" I have taught them well.
I group text my mom and sisters asking if we could conference call, knowing full well that they would be worried when I mention that I've just heard from Dr. C. But I haven't had much opportunity for announcing truly good news so I feel justified in making their hearts race. When we're all together via the wonder that is an iPhone, I break the good news; cheers erupt, and my dad says, "I guess we'll be having ice cream soon." Ice cream is definitely the way to celebrate.
I still feel a little shell shocked, but in the best possible way. You realize I've had approximately 7-9 scans (not counting the ones that happened during hospital stays) and the only news I've received is no change. And, yet, somehow after 13 months of no chemo and 6 months after the last scan that said no change, there is suddenly less cancer. How could there be any other explanation than God?
One of the first things I said after receiving the news was how glad I was to not have wasted the last 2 days worrying. I worked HARD at focusing on the here and now and not allowing myself to worry. And while I am sure that it's possible some of that was my own brain power, I am also certain that it was mostly the result of being completely covered in prayer by you, my friends.
It would be nice to take a break from all things medical, but I'm having my tonsils and adenoids removed January 31 (yes, I've heard all the horror stories) at the request of Dr. C as well as seeing my gastro doctor in the near future because of some issues revealed in the scan, but none of this is cancer related so I'm happy to do whatever is necessary.
I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. Psalms 116:1, 2, 5, 7
One final thing. I'm so aware that if the news would have been less positive, this verse above would have still been true. God still would have been good; He still would love me. Good news is just a bonus.