R.I.P. Cuddles

We had a tragedy at our house last night. Cuddles ran into the street and was run over. Now while I may not have formed any sort of lasting connection to the kittens, Camden and Rory most certainly have. Camden was just distraught, and it was pitiful to have him crumble into my arms and sob and sob and then finally try to pull it together. Rory kinda pretended to be sad, but we quickly learned she just didn't understand what had happened. When it dawned on her that Cuddles was actually dead, she was inconsolable. I'm talking sobs that wracked her body so hard she couldn't breathe. It was honestly one of the hardest parenting moments we've had. Our kids are lucky enough that this is the first real grief they've suffered, but there was nothing we could do to make them feel better. Camden said, "I just wish you could make her undead." and then proceeded to tell us he was going to need to take a box of kleenex to bed with him because of all the tears (which is sad but made me smile at the same time). After they were finally in bed and the tears seemed to have slowed down, Brian and I both said it's the first time we've been tempted to tell them a lie. Cause honestly the easy thing to do would have been to tell them that cat would be waiting for us in heaven (and if you believe that, it's totally fine - we just don't). Because did I mention the first words out of Rory's mouth were, "but animals can't go to heaven so where is she?" Apparently, she'd had this conversation with someone else before? Not really sure.

Anyway, they're both very sad, and I'm sad because I have never seen them experience grief before and generally as parents we can make things better for our kids, "fix" it in some way. But there's no fixing this. It's just a hard life lesson.