Back Among the Living (and blogging)

So, let's just be perfectly honest here. These past 7 days have probably been some of the toughest in my life. Definitely the toughest from a physical point of view. (You know it's bad when I'm not even blogging, right?) And while I have been uncharacteristically calm and peaceful and optimistic about this season in our life, this week almost pushed me back into my pessimistic self. In fact, I told Brian Wednesday night the only thing keeping me going was the knowledge that if these treatments didn't work, I never have to go through them again. 

Because they don't put your body through this twice. 

If I have a recurrence, there are other treatments that they'll try, but there's nothing like this. And thinking about a recurrence is not exactly a positive thing to be doing while you're in the middle of treatment for stage 3 ovarian cancer.

But as I look back over the week, I can still feel God's hand on me and the circumstances. A visit from Grandpa and Uncle Matt is a big deal for Camden and Rory (unscheduled) and was a wonderful distraction over the weekend. My mom was here to stay with me (once again, previously unscheduled but obviously God knew I was going to need her). Meals two nights this week delivered by friends who were encouraging to me. Because of all the help, Brian was able to get a whole lot of VBS prep work done which makes me feel less stressed out for him. The kids had fun days at Korean camp and a fun-filled evening and day in the pool at Gram and Gramp's house. Despite the fact that I have been extremely unavailable for my kids the last week, they didn't feel the loss nearly as much because of the extra activities already built into the schedule. And even as I spent a long and at times painful hour in the coldest room in Baptist hospital (surrounded by some seriously high-tech equipment) Tuesday morning, the doctor was extraordinarily kind, the tech was sweet, and the nurse took time to tell me my make-up looked pretty even though I clearly looked and felt way less than pretty. Oh, and of course, the best news is that I didn't have to have surgery to replace my IP (stomach) port - an enormous answer to prayer.

Isaiah 41:10
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am
your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you
with my victorious right hand.

I was able to have chemo yesterday, something I was not sure was going to happen. They reduced my fluids yet again in an effort to control the leaking and crazy pain I've been having. I managed to gain a whopping 8 pounds during treatment yesterday on the least amount of fluids yet. That is so not a typo. EIGHT pounds. The steroids have now kicked in (I'm currently still up and blogging at 3 a.m.), and I figure I've got another couple of hours of feeling better before side effects kick in for the next couple of days, but I don't go back until July 20 for another treatment and that makes the next few days feel very doable!

For obvious reasons, my job as family photographer fell along the wayside this week, but I did manage to cajole Brian into taking a few. Very few. Here is just a quick snap from Korean camp. Apparently, Rory was quite the little star with the Korean workers. He said they kept carrying her around, giving her hugs, passing her from person to person and talking about her amongst themselves (the workers didn't realize he was her dad so he eavesdropped LOL). And don't think she didn't just eat that attention right on up.