Closing Out the Weekend

We wrapped up our weekend with cancelled church services because of the crazy 6 inches of ice on our church parking lot which refuses to melt. School is still cancelled (that's 7 snow days in a row) tomorrow. As a result of no church services, we decided to visit a local church (LifePoint). I initially didn't want to go - not too proud to admit that I would have enjoyed sleeping in one more day.

However, as usual, it was the right choice - Brian's choices are pretty much always right. It was awesome to attend church without having any responsibilities. Now don't get me wrong, we love being church staff and ministering to others. But, oh my stars, was it ever good to just be ministered to. The kid's classes were good, the music was awesome, and the sermon was biblical, practical, and powerful. Brian and I both struggled to focus on the service and not spend all our emotional energy critiquing and comparing this well-established church with its dozens of church staff with our still very new and work-in-progress church. My OCD perfectionist flawed personality tends to take over during our own church service as I notice all the things that go wrong or could be improved and how I can "fix" them. (Yes, I am fully aware this is not the joyful worshipful attitude that should accompany a church service.)

All of that to say, it was a blessing to attend church yesterday morning. And my favorite part? When Camden's Sunday School teacher shook his hand on the way out, patted his back and told us, "this young man is going to do big things for God one day." How fantastic for Camden to have that encouragement. There are men and women who have the gift of encouragement, and they are invaluable.

Slight change of topic, but I would appreciate your prayers over the next few days. I am having yet another unfortunate reaction to my chemo drug and started the evil steroids again. I'm committing to the full 3.5 day regimen this time since the 24 hour regimen wasn't successful last weekend. It is insane how sick the steroids make me feel, but my skin was in very bad shape and it just needed to be done.

Tomorrow I visit Vanderbilt for lab work, an ecco-cardiogram to test my heart health (this chemo is particularly tough on heart function) and then a CT scan to check to see if my cancer is growing, stable, or decreasing. It feels like a very big deal. I know, they're all big. But this is the first time in the last 4 years that I've had active, progressive cancer and this scan is a big one because it determines if I've worn out yet another chemo drug.

As if that weren't enough for one week, I have an appointment with the clinical trial program at the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center on Wednesday. Obviously, we may have some big decisions coming our way based on this appointment along with my scan results.

I'm doing my level best to take it one day at a time. I do not want to waste any energy worrying about these appointments, and since I won't have scan results until I see Dr. C next Tuesday, I don't want to spend the next week in misery.

We've been studying Abraham during my Friday morning Bible study, so this verse seems appropriate.

Abraham did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. (Rom 4:20-21)


Unknown said…
Melissa...I have been reading your blog for years and have never commented, but want to tell you what an inspiration you are. For all you are going through, you handle it with grace and ease, faith holding you through every twist and turn. I will be praying for you and look forward to continuing to learn from you (and I love all the pictures of your family!)
Vicky said…
I try to embrace that very concept myself- not wasting my time worrying about days too far away from today- but I know it isn't always easy to do- no matter the number of times we've done it. Praying that you have worry-free moments tying together and stretching throughout your days. Much love and prayers to you!
You’ve got all sorts of prayers and positive thoughts coming from my corner of the world!!!

I’m going to focus on probably the least important sentence in this post… but SEVEN SNOW DAYS?!?! How are you not curled up in the corner, crying?! You win. You so win. (Not that either of us wants to win this competition.)

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