I heard from Vanderbilt this morning, and the news isn't what we were hoping for. My CA125 has gone up and my scan shows 2 new spots.
To be honest, I was prepared for this. Not because I haven't been praying or believing that God was working, but because of how God was preparing me over the last week. I know that sounds strange, but it's true.
I had people randomly stopping to pray with me about my appointment. And while they were praying for a miracle and how God would be glorified through that healing, I knew in my heart that God would be glorified even if the news was bad. Obviously, I prefer good news, but God can use the bad along with the good.
I was supernaturally calm in the days leading up to the scan and appointment. Like no anxiety, which was not normal. My devotions Monday morning were from Thessalonians where it says: 1. Rejoice always. 2. Pray constantly. 3. Give thanks in all circumstances. That is not a coincidence, friends.
I won't pretend that I'm not shaken by this, but I also knew that this day would eventually arrive. My heart hurts mostly for Brian and the kids. This will be tougher on them than me.
I leave in a couple of hours to see Becky, and the plan is to compartmentalize this news until I see my doctor Monday morning to discuss treatment options. I am going to shop until I drop. Linger over coffee. Talk photography. Show off my new full-frame camera (hello, breaking news!!). Eat ice cream and cupcakes.