Results Are In

-
I heard from Vanderbilt this morning, and the news isn't what we were hoping for. My CA125 has gone up and my scan shows 2 new spots. 

To be honest, I was prepared for this. Not because I haven't been praying or believing that God was working, but because of how God was preparing me over the last week. I know that sounds strange, but it's true.

I had people randomly stopping to pray with me about my appointment. And while they were praying for a miracle and how God would be glorified through that healing, I knew in my heart that God would be glorified even if the news was bad. Obviously, I prefer good news, but God can use the bad along with the good.

I was supernaturally calm in the days leading up to the scan and appointment. Like no anxiety, which was not normal. My devotions Monday morning were from Thessalonians where it says: 1. Rejoice always. 2. Pray constantly. 3. Give thanks in all circumstances. That is not a coincidence, friends. 

I won't pretend that I'm not shaken by this, but I also knew that this day would eventually arrive. My heart hurts mostly for Brian and the kids. This will be tougher on them than me.

I leave in a couple of hours to see Becky, and the plan is to compartmentalize this news until I see my doctor Monday morning to discuss treatment options. I am going to shop until I drop. Linger over coffee. Talk photography. Show off my new full-frame camera (hello, breaking news!!). Eat ice cream and cupcakes.

Comments

Owlhaven said…
Melissa, I'm praying for you and your precious ones...
Mary
1:08 PM
Krista said…
oh no Melissa... sending you and your family lots of positivity and prayer. xo
1:50 PM
One of Nettie's Girls said…
I am praying for you. First, to have a fabulous time with your sister! There is nothing like a sister, or two or three or four, in my case!!! Secondly, praying for the treatment options to be something that "fits" you and your life!
7:37 PM
Julie said…
I am praying for you. May the time with your sister be just what you need!
7:48 PM
Unknown said…
Praying for you and your family. Stay strong.
9:09 PM
VinGirl said…
Thinking of you and your family, Melissa.
4:55 AM
Anonymous said…
What a fun trip to take! Hope you guys have a blast!
5:29 AM
Christine @ 12,450miles said…
Oh, Melissa. I'm not going to lie. My heart hurts for you and yours.

I hope you have an incredible weekend with Becky... I hope you take lots of fabulous photos... and eat lots of yummy, yummy stuff.

HUGS.
6:40 AM
~amy~ said…
thinking of you and your family
8:17 AM
Vicky said…
Embracing you with love and infusing my thoughts with hope and peace. I often feel as though "I know, before I know." And you just described that perfectly.
xxoo
12:37 PM
Danyelle said…
Melissa, I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you and your family. But I am so encouraged by what you wrote...God will be glorified no matter what the answer. You being faithful to Him no matter what answers you are given is a testament of your faith in Him and encourages me as I walk my Christian walk. Prayers for the upcoming week...
10:36 AM
Amanda said…
Praying for you!
7:13 AM
To China and Back said…
Thinking of you.
8:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Scoop

-
Our meeting with Dr. W today was fine. Not encouraging, but fine. I don't know why I expected better news, but I think it's hard not to hope that the bad news you hear is somehow wrong; that they've somehow made a mistake. Basically, the cancer is still the same as prior to chemo. Possibly a little larger, but he said it was hard to tell. He was glad that it had not returned to my bowel or colon (because that was a large part of my initial surgery), and my chest and lungs are still clear (apparently, this is the next place the cancer would go). It does not change my stage of cancer (still 3c), and remission is still a possibility, but he said that it would be very tough to get there.  There are several more drugs that we can try, which is good, but unfortunately they each have a success rate of only 25%. It's a little too early to be considering clinical trials because hospitals who hold the trials like for the patients to have tried the more main-stream drugs firs
Read more

Late Night Ramblings

-
Image
1. Thanks to Andrea for driving me to chemo today. I'm always a little anxious on the way in and the very few times I've had to drive myself, it's been a little lonely coming home. But not today. 2. A fellow chemo patient today thought I was in my 20's. Score.  ("score" would be a term I'm borrowing from Becky ) 3. I did not wear a scarf today to chemo, and all the nurses and doctors did a double take since they didn't recognize me. So wierd. I recognize me with hair, bald, and with a little puppy fluff. 4. Dr. W. is adding Avastin , a new drug which will help prevent cancer cells from growing, to my current Gemzar routine. Good news is that it won't make me feel any worse. Bad news is that in a small percentage of patients it causes severe side effects involving blood clots, kidney failure, ulcers, and holes in your bowel. Good times. 5. I've been instructed to head directly to my primary care doctor for blood pressure medic
Read more

Scenes from the Soccer Field

-
Image
So I may not have apologized yesterday about the number of pictures, but I am definitely going to today. Because  coughcough thirty coughcough just might be excessive. And probably my family will be the only ones who look at all of them. But I don't care. :) By the way, we completely lost and did not even score a goal yet again. Rory tried really, really hard. This team was head and shoulders bigger than we are, way more coordinated than 4 year olds should be and their coach kept their A team in the entire game. Even after scoring some 15 goals. Oh, well. Rory still enjoyed herself. Which way is the goal again? Notice her position in this picture. Notice how she passed the girl next to her? No, I am not competitive at all. Not sure where the other team is. Oh, wait. There they are. See how much bigger they are? You'll notice she almost always runs with her mouth open. Either that or her tongue hang
Read more