Overwhelmed

Yesterday Brian and I spent a very long day meeting with the port doctor for a consult, the chemo nurse, and then pre-op stuff for next week when I have the port procedure. I should have known the day wasn't going to go especially well when we spent over 2 hours in the first doctor's office only to be told that I was going to have to stay in the hospital overnight and could not eat for TWO days prior to the surgery. Not expecting either of those things, and it deflated me pretty quickly.

We both perked up for lunch and had a blast with my friends. Okay, they're Brian's friends too because he's married to me, but they were my friends first. :)

(I won't mention any names, but some of these people were very excited at the prospect of appearing on the blog.)

We moved on from lunch to a meeting with the chemo nurse, and it's just too depressing to share. I honestly planned to give you all the gory details, but I'm sure I'll complain enough about them as I experience them so I'll spare you for now.

We moved on to pre-op for my surgery next week and spent another couple of hours waiting around for paperwork and a chest x-ray only to have the same registration employee (who was sweet) and the same pre-op nurse from last time (who told the same corny jokes we heard 3 weeks ago).

We finished up the day by making a quick grocery trip since Brian was with me and able to carry groceries (I still am not supposed to carry anything over 5 lbs for another 3 weeks). We were both exhausted by the time we made it home, spent a few minutes with the kids, then kind of crashed for the evening.

I feel as if I've been fairly positive about this whole situation so far, but yesterday was just too much to take in all at once. It is so surreal to hear about all these things that will be happening to me and my body and to know there is nothing to do except move forward and accept it. It is not easy to look at the next six months of your life and know you will be drop dead miserable for most of that time. I know it's worth it, but not easy.

So now that I've told you about yesterday, let me tell you about today. Rory's little sniffles from the other night transformed very quickly into a full-blown crazy asthma attack. I was away from her all day yesterday, obviously, and noticed as soon as she got home last night that she was wheezing a bit, but she was happy, playing, etc. It only took an hour or two after bedtime for us to both get concerned and it was a very long night full of coughing, wheezing, and albuterol. When I took her in to see the doctor this morning, she immediately perked up (which happens every.single.time) and I know the nurse thought I was crazy for bringing my "well" child in to see them. But I was right - the doctor said she was very sick and he really didn't want to send us home, but to the hospital. I am fairly certain the desperate look on my face convinced him we could handle the treatments. Since we've done this whole routine several times, he said he knew he could trust us to be very watchful and to take her right away if she wasn't better. Here's hoping two steroids plus the albuterol will help her feel better right away.

And if that's not enough, today was my first day back behind the wheel (woohoo!), but I've been having some stomach problems as well as dizziness, which is not alot of fun. I'm hanging on for dear life until Brian gets home from school today and then I'm crashing.

And to end this on a positive note, despite the fact that I'm feeling very overwhelmed at the moment, good test results for my mom, a good cry with my encouraging sister-in-law definitely helped as well as the three cards and a sweet gift that came in the mail today. Thank you much, my friends!