A List

I think I could write a book on all my experiences in the hospital from the last month, but I'm fairly certain it would bore everyone to tears. However, I have put together a little list I'd like to call "Why I'm Convinced my Doctor Hates Me." (And I should totally note that is not Dr. W, who we love. This is Dr. F who is only responsible for my port surgery, thank heavens.)

Reason #1. She made me do a 48 hour fast before my surgery despite the fact that all the anesthesiologists and nurses said that a 12 hour fast is typical.

Reason #2. She wrote on both sides of my neck (totally visible in a t-shirt) as well as all over my abdomen in permanent marker. I have scrubbed several times, and it's not going anywhere.

Reason #3. She put me on a liquid-only diet after the surgery (I seriously shed a few tears when I heard this while I was waiting in recovery). My night nurse put a call in to the doctor on call and they couldn't figure out why she would have done that and released me to eat. So at 8:00 last night Brian made a run to Panera Bread for some soup for me. We decided it was almost like date night to eat carry out and watch TV on a kid-free evening.

Reason #4. Everyone else got to go home the same day after port surgery, but I get to stay a day and a half. (I'm still here, by the way.)

Reason #5. She did not put me on any kind of pain management so I feel like a drug addict every time I call and try to get something to help me feel better.

Disclaimer: While all these things are true, I'm writing this mostly tongue-in-cheek.

And a quick picture from several weeks ago.