Another List

Just in case there is any misunderstanding going on here between me and my blog readers (especially my new internet people):

1. Cancer does not turn someone into a saint. I am very cranky.

2. Having a mom with cancer does not turn my children into saints.They're still just regular kiddos with some rotten mixed in with the sweet.

3. I think I might have underestimated what starting chemo would be like. I kind of laser-focused in on the fact that my oncologist said most people tolerated this chemo well, but you just can't ignore that it's still chemo/poison.

4. Brian and I have already had our first fight over who should do what. Working with 4th graders all day trumps chemo in my head, but chemo trumps working with 4th graders in his head. And so we argue over who does what around the house. The real argument, of course, is not about the actual work. We're just each trying to take care of each other.

5. I'm not a big fan of naps in the middle of the day or accepting help. I'm re-learning that both are necessary sometimes.

6. What is up with all my lists these days?

Moving on . . .

Our family tradition has always been to put up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. I'm always a little too OCD, the kids a little too hyper, and this process is never quite as full of joy as I imagine it will be. Becky and I talk about it every year, and we can only conclude that we remember only the good stuff from our own childhood tree experiences and hope that's what our kids remember as well.

This year the lights wouldn't work, we forgot my cute burlap ribbon, and we started on a Friday night after a long day that came at the end of a long week. It felt like a bit of a disaster, but I think it was all fine in the end. The tree is up, and it was so nice to walk into the house after our Thanksgiving trip and have it completed.

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Amanda said…
I could have wrote those exact words about the tree. We put ours up yesterday and I completely fell apart and started going nuts because the lights were looking wonky and they just wanted to throw them on there. Don't they know their is a technique to this?!:) Of course, this came after being at the tree farm in the freezing, overcast day to pick out the "perfect tree" (that no one could agree on) and then attempting Christmas card photos while there (that only proves even more how horrible of a photographer I am after loading them on my computer). After a ride to the dollar store, by myself, for more lights I pulled into the driveway and the Amy Grant song, " A little Silent Night"? came on and I just sat there and took some deep breathes and prayed and realized our life is never going to be like it plays out in my head. I gave the kids rein over the tree and i think we will probably have the most unique one out there :)
Joan B said…
I'm sorry you and your family are facing such difficult times. I think the "lists" are a way of trying to keep control. At least they are for me! Best wishes for a chemo that destroys the bad stuff without taking too much of a toll on the good stuff.
Mimi said…
Love . Your. Honesty.
You and I feel very much the same way about the whole tree thing. Now that I have a legit [six-year-old] helper... it's a whole new ballgame. One that you really need some sort of vice for to survive. ;-)

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