13 things

A few more things from my first day back in the thick of cancer.

1. The medical fellow who is working with Dr. C right now (this means she has completed medical school, 3 years of residency, and is now studying oncology for 3-5 years as her specialty), very narrowly avoided the terms late stage cancer and last ditch effort. She caught herself in time and was very kind and professional for the rest of the visit. She was also wearing a short skirt, black tights, and VERY high heels. Brian and I both commented after she left that she must have a shorter day than the other doctors because how could she possibly work a 12 hour shift in those shoes!

2. My only reaction to the chemo drug yesterday was swelling in my hands. Could have been worse! The swelling is actually still around, but I'm assuming it will go away as I start the lose the fluids they put into my system.

3. The very specific feeling in the back of my throat and pit of my stomach that accompanies chemo (I can only describe it as gross) is definitely present.

4. My steroid is Decadron, not prednisone as many of you mentioned yesterday. I have no idea how they compare. I did notice that without the combo of Decadron plus Benadryl (which they did not give me yesterday), the dizziness was kept to a minimum. Previously, it was a crazy head rush when they would push the steroid/Benadryl combo.

5. Interesting facts: I'm to avoid all things extremely hot or cold. I asked about coffee multiple times. The nurse told me that since coffee seemed to be important to me (ha!), the point of chemo is not to ruin my quality of life but to enable me to have quality of life and so to drink coffee with the precaution of letting it cool for a moment after pouring and to hold the cup by the handle instead of wrapping my hands around the cup. Also. Because chemo is toxic, I am to flush the toilet twice after using it for the next 10-14 days. And no exchanging bodily fluids. Who knew!

*When I texted my mom and sisters with the toxic comment, I said they should imagine Britney Spears singing that line. You're welcome.

6. Because even chemo should not interfere with an appointment at the hair salon, I had my hair cut last night. Seriously, life is way too short for bad hair days and at 6 weeks post-hair cut, there were some bad hair days happening. When you have hair as short as mine, a few days make a big difference. In fact, (confession time here) I see my stylist every 3 weeks. She does a full cut one session and then just a tiny $5 trim 3 weeks in.

7. Steroids did not give me late-night scrapping opportunity as has happened in the past. I could not keep my eyes open and slept nearly 8 hours last night without waking up. It was fantastic.

8. I do feel better this morning, although that gross feeling is re-appearing and I've noticed that I'm quite shaky when I move around the house. Thankfully, all I have on the agenda for today is getting the kids to and from school. ETA: I ended up calling on reinforcements to take the kids to school because, turns out, being on my feet makes me toss my cookies.

9. I have taken exactly zero intentional (aka dress-up, planned photos) with my children in TWO years. Well, I just remembered the cousin shoot in Illinois, but that wasn't just my own kids. This situation will be remedied Saturday as I attempt a Christmas card photo (yes, I running just so late with these) and I've contacted a photographer about taking family photos in January. As I looked through my folders and attempted to put together pictures for a family calendar, it was too depressing.

10. One of my teal sisters (that would be fellow ovarian cancer friends) passed away last night. I am comforted by the fact that she is in heaven and has already met Jesus and is feeling better now than she ever has before.

11. I had completely forgotten that me and my stomach have a weird agreement during chemo. It rebels if there's nothing in it. I'm sure you know what I mean by rebel. This means that I eat all day long, which is stupid, but keeping small bites of food helps somewhat with the gross feeling.

12. After leaving the kids at breakfast this morning because I couldn't sit upright anymore, Rory came in and asked if she could pray with me.

13. Thank you to my friend Brooke for sharing this song with me. Music is my favorite thing in the world, but I tend to pick up the melody/sounds of it before the lyrics. Watching the video made me hear the words, and they are so comforting.

A few of the lyrics:

Far be it from me to not believe

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me

Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on you

And through it all, through it all

It is well.

So let go, my soul,

And trust in Him

The waves and wind still know His name

So let go, my soul

And trust in Him

The waves and wind still know His name

It is well, it is well

With my soul

It is well, it is well

With my soul

Please go watch. I bought the whole album after hearing it.

I TOLD you I would be chatty!

Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” — Psalm 16:1-2