Our Weekend

Our weekend got off to a rough start when the kids asked me on the way home from school if I had scan results. It is so hard to deliver news that is not what they've prayed for. Rory cried and cried. It is beyond difficult for their little hearts to understand why God doesn't answer their prayers in the way they want. And while I certainly did not bring this up, Camden quietly said, "losing you would be the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to us." Sigh. And tears.

In typical kid fashion, by the time we got home they had moved past the bad news and were planning what to play (temps were in the 70's Friday) so it was definitely outside. We ordered a pizza for supper, played a 3 hour game of Monopoly (oh. my. stars.) and enjoyed a renewed sense of staying in the moment.

Saturday was just lovely. Brian typically spends the majority of Saturdays doing church prep and/or grading papers. And because chemo is typically on Thursdays for me, I'm generally a couch potato and we rarely actually have Saturday plans or leave the house. But I woke up feeling great Saturday morning, and so the four of us ran errands, took a trip to the library. The kids played together literally all afternoon while Brian and I hung curtains, painted an end table (Annie Sloan chalk paint - satisfaction with results still to be determined), hung a gallery wall in our stairwell, and watched 2 football games. (Of course, both teams I was rooting for lost because I have the kiss of death when it comes to choosing play-off teams.)

Sunday I struggled to control my thoughts, maybe in part due to the crazy rain, thunderstorms, flood warnings, tornadoes, etc. that swept through the area. My goal is to not need help via medication controlling my fear on a daily basis, but some days are harder than others.

This is Homecoming Week at school so the kids are dressing up each day (or most days depending on how creative I can be). Today is Hillbilly Day and Rory was super excited, of course. Camden, who is my little rule-follower, gets freaked out on days like this. He goes into a panic worrying that he'll be the only one who shows up out of uniform. This morning he couldn't handle it because I had misplaced the actual note the school sent home outlining the days, which meant he couldn't double-check the plan over and over. Yikes. We managed to make it out the door in the nick of time, and here's hoping the rest of the week's early mornings will be a tad easier.

And a few iphone pics.

Ironically enough, this was my fortune at P.F. Chang's after my scan last week. If only that were true!

Camden has always been a huge Lego fan, but with the Lego Idea Book Aunt Becky gave him for Christmas, he is spending HOURS a day putting fun things together.

Doubting this paint choice, although I *did* say I wanted happy colors in this house.

Rory's choice of comfy clothes for Sunday afternoon.

And then she moved on to a t-shirt and old upside down goggles.

Hillbilly Day. Camden would have none of the painted freckles. I wanted to black out a tooth, but no dice.

Addison is keeping me company, and is this 13 month old ever busy! Cannot. Keep. Up.


It sounds like a lovely weekend, other than the start. As sad as Camden's words were, I find it amazing that he is able to put into words what he is feeling. So many children, especially boys, cannot do that. You have obviously created a home that feels safe to them...they can risk sharing their feelings. And, may I just say, Addison just gets cuter and cuter!
Vicky said…
Oh my heart- that your kids completely feel and get what this journey is all about... my kids will only let a bit in and then in their pre-teen ways- change the subject. I really admire how much you packed into your weekend and lived those moments full despite all the waiting. I just hope you fully feel all the prayers being said for you. Hugs to all of you...
Joan B said…
Hard to know what to say when I read what your kids said. The very toughest questions.

Amy said…
Camden's comment broke my heart. I can only imagine what it did to yours. So glad you were able to have such a good weekend! And Addison...how did she get to be 13 months?
Lori said…
Praying for you and your precious family.
I so empathize with Camden's rule-following heart. I was EXACTLY the same way and Isaac is too.
Oh my word... that first paragraph makes my heart clench in sadness and pain for you...

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