Life as a Lewis

1. Camden is home today for his first sick day in 4 years of school. He looks devastated, right? If he didn't love school so much, I'd say he was faking it (although pretty sure you can't fake a 101.5 fever!). 2. Walked out the door to snow on my car this morning. What?? 3. Brian cut his hair into a mohawk for crazy hair day at school yesterday. Hello, Mr. T. And, no, that hairstyle isn't staying around. 4. The heater in our semi-healthy car is not working. 5. I've stopped by the local coffee shop 4 out of 5 times this week in an effort to keep warm. Bad, bad habit to get into. 6. Rory has requested "scabetti" (of course) for her family meal tonight. 7. I'm determined to get off sleep meds, which has contributed to those multiple stops at the coffee shop this week. It's a vicious cycle. I don't sleep for multiple nights in a row, but when I do sleep, I sleep so hard and don't move a muscle . . . which re...

Since I've now had two significant cancer-related tests in a short period of time, I am learning that there is an inevitable post-result crash. It's almost as if I'm not aware of how hard my mind and body are fighting against the anxiety until the results are in (and thank heavens for good results two times in a row now). I feel such a sense of relief at the good news, but to be perfectly honest, what I mostly feel is exhaustion. I felt so good at how I was handling the wait this time around. But then Tuesday morning hit, and I could feel the worry creep in and start to bubble up inside. I finally resorted first to a frantic call to my sister, then chocolate, a bubble bath, and Xanax Tuesday night. Even after I got the results yesterday morning, I couldn't relax. In part because of the knowledge that we'll do this all over again in 4 weeks, and in part because I have several friends either beginning chemo again or waiting on their own results. But 24 hours ...

I finally heard from Dr. W's office this morning, and my CA125 is resting comfortably at 14.1, down from 17 in December and 19 in January. Let's all breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy life until I go back March 21 for the next test. As is usual after waiting for test results, I find myself so tired. Based on the way my body and mind feel, waiting must be terribly hard work. I think I will take advantage of the quiet house on this cold rainy day and find time to maybe take a nap! Thanks for all the prayers, friends.

Camden: When I grow up, I hope I get to work with animals. Rory: You mean like a vegetarian? Am I jinxing myself by admitting that I feel better physically than I have since last July when I had to restart chemo? It's kind of amazing how I have felt progressively better over the last few weeks. Rory: When I turn 7, I am going to WILD. We've reinstated Friday as game night in 2013, and Camden is hilarious (or infuriating depending on how you look at it) as he spends most of the time making sure the cards on kept in a perfectly neat pile. Over the last 2 years, my TV viewing has definitely veared more toward the lighter side. Reality TV, comedies, etc. And I find myself not being interested at all in romantic dramas or comedies where perfect people have perfect endings. My most recent TV show (I've somehow managed to watch the entire season in the last 2 weeks) is Guys With Kids on NBC. Pretty family friendly and makes me laugh. Camden and Rory have fal...

Friday night started with the realization that if Camden was going to play baseball this year, tryouts were Saturday and we'd better get with it! Considering no one in this house had picked up any baseball gear since the end of season last year (we are bad, bad sport parents), Brian and Camden hit the back yard to throw a few balls around. Rory, of course, wanted in on the action. Brian says she actually had improved alot from last year and if we weren't on a one-kid-in-a-sport-at-a-time kind of family, she'd be great at softball (which she is old enough to play this year). Camden started off Friday night game night with a Yahtzee. Lucky. Unfortunately for him, I totally won the game. Saturday Brian took him squirrel hunting for the very first time (totally disgusting in this mama's opinion) and he shot and killed his first squirrel. I'll spare you the picture, although if you're a friend of Brian's on Facebook, you've already se...

I always crack up at my blog statistics when I'm waiting for test results. Instead of 150-200ish hits a day, they jump to something along the lines of 800ish as all of my friends wait for results along with me. (And, for the record, I never check blog statistics; they show up automatically in my set-up.) Anyway, feel free to go about your regular schedule because I won't know anything until Monday. Ish. I think I mentioned before that Dr. W changed offices/hospitals. What I might not have mentioned is that out of approximately 15 staff members, only 3 made the switch with him so, as you can imagine, it's quite a different scene these days. All of what made going to an oncologist palatable is not there anymore. No one knows me. There's no chit chat with the receptionist, scheduler, nurses, techs, etc. All my favorite people are gone, although the new nurse I met yesterday has promise. She was very sweet and kind and actually said to me on the way out that she hoped ...

This afternoon I'll be walking into Dr. W's office to have my port flushed and for blood work, specifically my CA125 level. It has been exactly 2 months today since my last chemo appointment, and I have to say that I am finally, finally feeling better and I am not ready to give that up. I randomly came across a blog yesterday (and I say randomly a little tongue-in-cheek because I don't believe it was random at all), and when I read her words, they knocked me over. It was as if God was whispering them to me with such clarity. Over the last few days, the idea behind the following paragraphs has been whirling around in my head, but I couldn't quite grab hold of it. Until I read her words. I tried to think of a way to rewrite them for myself, but in the end just decided to copy and paste and hope that you'll find some beauty in them for yourself. (Mrs. Gore's Diary) It is now Saturday afternoon, and I am happy to report that, for now, all seems to be wel...