Scan Results

Well, the news is not quite what we hoped. There has been no significant change since surgery. The cancer is still there. The good news is that it hasn't spread, but it hasn't gotten any smaller either. I start a new chemo regimen on Tuesday. 

And just in case you have somehow gotten the mistaken idea that I am strong or brave or full of faith, I'm fairly floored and a little bit in shock by the news. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it most certainly wasn't that there has been no change. I feel as if the last 20 weeks of pain and nausea and not being there for my husband or children has all been for nothing. I would appreciate your prayers as we tell the kids tonight. This is the part I dread the most. Not the chemo or bad results, but the impact on Camden and Rory.

But even in my numbness and a whole lot of tears, my mind went almost immediately to a song Becky had posted earlier this week by the David Crowder Band. I really, really want to choose to rest in Him.

Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross